Built for our family

We built this for our boys.

We want them to learn, think for themselves, understand their feelings, and care about how they treat other people. We want them to have goals of their own and learn what it takes to work toward them.

It Adds Up brings their daily plans, goals, and reflections together. It gives us somewhere to practice these things and something specific to talk about.

We’re still figuring out what helps.

See a week

Kids’ sign-in Parent sign-in

It Adds UpIllustrative example

This week: Listening

Let someone finish talking before you answer, every time today.

Math, lesson 42Submitted
Science live class, 10:00Join at 9:55
Feed the dogChore

Need more time? Ask, with a reason.

We needed the pieces in one place.

We were keeping too much of the boys’ day in our heads. Schoolwork, chores, money, and computer rules all needed attention. When something went wrong, we often had to work out what had happened before we could talk about it.

We wanted a clearer plan for them and a clearer picture for us. We also wanted to make room for the things that don’t show up as an assignment: how they handle a hard moment, how they treat someone else, and what they want to get better at.

Something to learn. Something to try.

Each week has a theme, a Bible passage to discuss, and a few practical things to try. The boys can reflect in their own words. We talk about what they choose to share and decide what needs another try.

Explore the themes

Week 23 of 52

Listening

Read together: James 1:19
Try: Let someone finish talking before you answer, every time today.
Also this week: In one conversation, ask two questions before you share your own story. Ask a parent about their day, and listen without your phone.
Reflect: What’s one choice you made today, and why?

What we keep coming back to

Learning

Asking questions, understanding something difficult, and following an interest far enough to learn something new.

Feelings and relationships

Recognizing a feeling, saying what they need, listening, and considering another person’s point of view.

Choices and responsibility

Understanding an expectation, thinking about consequences, following through, and helping put things right.

Goals and independence

Choosing something to work toward, making a plan, learning useful skills, and taking on more over time.

Faith is part of how we raise our boys and how we talk about these things. The weekly themes include Scripture and something to put into practice together.

It still has to work on an ordinary Tuesday.

The boys need to know what’s next. We need to know what needs an answer. The app brings the practical parts together:

Daily plans, classes, and responsibilities.
Requests for help or more time, with a visible response.
Chores, allowance, and savings goals.
Family check-ins and reflections.
School-computer rules chosen for each child.

Illustrative example: one request, seen from both sides

In the kids app

Reading log, due today

You asked for more time, until Thursday.

Waiting for an answer

In the parent app

A year to return to

The program includes 52 weekly themes in twelve parts. They cover knowing yourself, habits, health, time, money, relationships, difficult situations, curiosity, feelings, decisions, responsibility, and looking back.

Know yourself
Showing up, what you’re good at, what you value, your patterns.
How you talk and listen
Listening, kind words, speaking up, making it right.
Handling hard things
Not quitting, asking for help, mistakes, courage.
Feeling without losing it
Naming it, anger, worry, bouncing back.

See all twelve parts

Know yourself (weeks 1–4): showing up, what you’re good at, what you value, your patterns
Build momentum (5–8): small wins, consistency, starting again, momentum
Your body is your HQ (9–13): fuel, moving, sleep, clean and ready, strong body and mind
Where your time goes (14–17): seeing your time, first things first, on time, rest and play
Money basics (18–22): earning, saving, giving, wants and needs, taking care of things
How you talk and listen (23–26): listening, kind words, speaking up, making it right
Handling hard things (27–30): not quitting, asking for help, mistakes, courage
Your space, your mind (31–35): clear space, focus, what you feed your mind, quiet, curiosity
Feeling without losing it (36–39): naming it, anger, worry, bouncing back
Making good calls (40–44): thinking it through, friends, online choices, integrity, owning your choices
Be someone people count on (45–48): keeping your word, helping without being asked, gratitude, loyalty
See your growth (49–52): looking back, giving, finishing strong, who you’ve become

Everyone should know how it works.

The boys can see their own plan and record. Parents can see school-computer activity, requests, and progress. If an entry seems wrong, there’s a way to flag it and respond.

Parents choose the tools and computer rules for each child. When the computer is closed, the screen says which rule closed it and what opens it again. A recorded event starts a conversation; it doesn’t tell us everything about why it happened.

Reflections. A reflection you don’t share is normally hidden from parents. Every entry is checked for the alert phrases explained in the app: phrases about being hurt, hurting yourself, or being told to keep something from your parents, plus any words parents add. A match shows that entry to parents. Word matching can miss things or flag harmless writing.

On the school computer we record which site is open each minute and whether it’s idle or locked; with school rules on, a screenshot of the school page at sign-in. Minute-by-minute activity and screenshots are deleted after 90 days. No ads, trackers, location, camera, microphone, keystrokes or messages.

What is recorded and who can see it

We’re using it and learning from it.

We built this for our family. We want it to help the boys take more responsibility and help us spend less time repeating instructions. We’ll keep changing the parts that don’t help.